Dildos for Two: A Guide to Partner Play

Intimacy is a journey of discovery that must be shared with a partner. Introducing sex toys, specifically something like a dildo, can be a fantastic way to explore various new avenues of pleasure. The chances are you're already on the verge of unlocking some sort of experience - fun, deeply connecting (physical and otherwise), and simply 'cool' to have attempted it in the bedroom at least once. Adding a dildo to a relationship is not just about the object itself; desires are being explored, constant small to medium sized sensory experiences are introduced, and in every possible way learning about your partner's body (physically and mentally) is part of the process. Playfulness and support are key elements.

This guide will walk you through all the information needed to use Dildos for two. We as a group will cover the more 'technical' aspects, benefits, children's play (if applicable), safety, and all forms of communication that go along with it. Shared pleasure is the end goal, and I hope this introduction opens you up to that very human, intimate, and beautifully simple act of connecting.

Why Bring a Dildo into Partner Play?

Incorporating a dildo can feel like a big step, but the rewards are well worth it. The simple benefit of dildos is that they feel good! Beyond that, several unique advantages are available for couples.

Discover New Sensations: A dildo provides different types of pressure, various textures, and all around forms of stimulation that hands or genitals alone cannot. Variety of these aspects will awaken previously unattended nerve endings; more intense blended orgasms are a direct result.

Enhance Communication: Successfully using a dildo together requires some (near constant) open communication. What feels good, what you want to try, small and large boundaries - all of these things will be discussed. This level of honesty strengthens the emotional intimacy just as much as the physical connection.

A Tool for Exploration: Using a dildo is a fantastic way to learn about both yourself and your partner. Pinpointing the 'best' kind of stimulation, guiding a partner to those spots, and all that follows (each person being their own agent of pleasure) is near perfect.

Bridge the Orgasm Gap: Partners often take different paths to orgasm. Consistent clitoral or G-spot type stimulation via a dildo, while engaging in other all encompassing forms of intimacy, helps push at least one partner (if not both) to that peak.

Getting Started: Choosing Your First Couple's Dildo

So many options exist, picking the right one can be overwhelming. Material, size, and to a point shape, are all important considerations.

Material matters

The material of your dildo affects its feel, safety, and how you clean it. Here are the most common body-safe choices:

Silicone: This is the 'gold standard' for a reason. Non-porous (harboring bacteria is not an option), easy to clean, and possessing that near-skin-like smooth feel. Soft and squishy or firm depending on the specific design are both possible. Remember: only water-based lubricant should be used with any silicone dildo, silicone lube itself will degrade the material.

Glass: Elegant and beautiful, glass dildos fall into the same non-porous category. Easy cleaning is a plus. Temperature play is where they truly shine - warming them in hot water or cooling them briefly in the fridge creates that all too desirable new sensation. Durable borosilicate glass is the best choice if possible.

Stone or Metal: Similar to glass, these materials are all non-porous. Direct stimulation is often what is sought after; weight and a more 'firm' feel are additional positives.

Finding the Right Size and Shape

Size-wise, starting smaller is generally a good idea. Larger dildos can always be explored later, comfort and pure fun being the end goals of the experience.

• Classic Dildos: Phallic shaped (to put it simply) and suitable for either vaginal or anal penetration. A flared base is a small but important safety feature to look for.
• Double Ended: Mutual pleasure in mind, these allow both partners to at least partially share a penetration experience. Flexibility of some form is the norm.
• Harness Compatible (strap on style): Dildos that attach to a harness, or any kind of penetrative sex the two of you wish to explore, are a beautiful and very real part of modern sexuality.

A Guide to Partner Play Positions and Ideas

Now for the fun part! Communication is key here. Talk with your partner beforehand about what both of you are excited to try.

The Giver and Receiver

One of the simplest ways to start is having one partner use the dildo on the other. Focusing completely on your partner's pleasure is the primary goal.

How to do it: Have one partner lie back comfortably. The other can then use the dildo to explore various areas. Clitoral stimulation, G-spot type stimulation, or just a more general massage (thighs/stomach if desired) are all good options. Paying attention to any and all reactions they give you is important. Attentive, focused pleasuring is something beautiful to practice in this manner.

Side-by-Side Stimulation

This is a wonderfully intimate position; closeness is easily achieved while using a dildo.

How to do it: Lie side-by-side (spooning if you will). The partner in the back holds the dildo and stimulates the front partner. Hands remain free for caressing, kissing, and simple holding; the dildo itself almost becomes a natural extension of all that touch.

Mutual Pleasure with a Double Dildo

Both partners wanting some form of simultaneous penetration will find this to be ideal.

How to do it: Find a comfortable position - face to face being one, with legs wrapped around each other. Generous lubrication of dildo and partners is a must. A rocking motion together will create a near perfect shared rhythm of pleasure.

Strap-On Play for Every Couple. Strap-on harnesses are for everyone!

How to do it: The wearing partner secures the harness. Receiving can be on their back, stomach, or all fours. Speed and/or depth of penetration can always be negotiated. Strap-on play (to me at least) is a truly unique and/or empowering type of intimacy. Penetrative or not, I believe we all need to explore it.

Essential Tips for a Great Experience

Here are a few tips to keep in mind in order to make all of your adventures as safe and enjoyable as possible.

• Lube is Your Best Friend: Seriously, don't skip this step! You won't regret it. Several benefits come from using some form of lubricant - reducing friction being the primary one, increased pleasure being a near constant, and various types of discomfort prevented. A liberal amount should be used, water-based is preferred, silicone dildos specifically require this type of care.
• Talk, Talk, and Talk Some More: Take the time to check in with one another before, during, and after the event. Phrases such as "How do you feel about that?" or simple adjustments like 'a bit more pressure please' will ensure everyone feels (at least temporarily) heard, respected, and safe.
• Keep It Clean: Hygiene is one of the most important aspects of health. After every use of your dildo follow the manufacturer's instructions for cleaning. Silicone, glass, or stone dildos all benefit from being washed; warm water and a dedicated dildo cleaner (or very gentle unscented soap) will do the trick.
• Start Slow: There's no rush, go at your own pace. Exploring different sensations and/or positions should be the focus. Connecting people together through pleasure is what the experience is all about - a race to some 'final' state of satisfaction is not the point.

Conclusion:

Introducing a dildo into a shared intimate life is an act of trust, small and large scale curiosity, and pure fun. Deepening that connection is and will always be, to me at least, a part of what we all want to achieve. Getting to know each other, and all that follows, is a beautiful, ever changing adventure.